( due to Courtney Love trying to make a comeback this year , i decided to write about the time I met this tired junkie of a being who once was a woman )
Back when it was cool to be part of Generation X , The height of Nirvana and that scene called grunge. Self proclaimed queen of grunge was Courtney Love, not because of talent but because of association. I have had been into Nirvana wholeheartedly, i was obsessed as a groupie would be , but going along with Kurt meant going along with Hole(Courtney's band). I knew that Kurt Cobain helped Courtney achieve a good album(Live Through This) but he helped more than he thought. He died few days before her album released and in turn helped her sales. His death caused a meltdown in this woman and like a car accident it was hard to watch but we still watched . Despite his death she kept on her schedule of touring and i had tickets to see her at the Palladium . I bought tickets to the circus, and she was the the main attraction .The Clown , she would roll around and her clothes barely hanging on. Her lipstick smeared and the singing , what singing ? It was more like talking rapidly and a scream here and there. The accident was unfolding before our eyes and it was surreal. Apparently we weren't the only ones enjoying the fiasco , while watching the the show my boyfriend (now husband) bumped into Drew Barrymore and Pat Smear . Now i knew their is more to this circus act , an act indeed. I'm pretty sure was hurt because of Kurt's death but the show was too much to bare. The show ended with a lame cover of "Hungry like a Wolf " and with that we took to the side of the stage. Luckily we have snuck in before at a previous show and the huge Samoan body guards remembered us. You with think he would pick me up and throw me out but on the contrary he says" Hey i remember you , just go ahead" .. I was amazed and ran with it . It was upstairs with a bar and loads of people. The pretty people of Hollywood of course . I ran into all of the band members and had them sign my heart shaped Hole sticker . They were much obliged and knew we were some young kids that didn't belong in this place of members only . Once that was done we set our eyes on the prize. Courtney was sitting on the other side of the room and seemed okay with the world . She was having a conversation and seemed well engaged. She wasn't the crazy lady on stage that i witnessed a few minutes ago, she wasn't the distraught widow she claimed to be. I go up to her to get my last signature and i stopped suddenly. It took me a second to realize who she was speaking to. I rub my eyes and said "Danny Devito?" , seriously. She then signed my sticker and never did stop to acknowledge. She kept on with her moment with Danny. I thanked her and left . We left with a odd deposition , "did that just happened" ..Truth i envied her before that moment, I believed in a real rock and roll chick, now i knew it was a facade and the queen of grunge was now to me the jester of Hollywood .