groupie story #5 meeting Mrs. Cobain

( due to Courtney Love trying to make a comeback this year , i decided to write about the time I met this tired junkie of a being who once was a woman )

Palladium 94'

Back when it was cool to be part of Generation X , The height of Nirvana and that scene called grunge. Self proclaimed queen of grunge was Courtney Love, not because of talent but because of association. I have had been into Nirvana wholeheartedly, i was obsessed as a groupie would be , but going along with Kurt meant going along with Hole(Courtney's band). I knew that Kurt Cobain helped Courtney achieve a good album(Live Through This) but he helped more than he thought. He died few days before her album released and in turn helped her sales. His death caused a meltdown in this woman and like a car accident it was hard to watch but we still watched . Despite his death she kept on her schedule of touring and i had tickets to see her at the Palladium . I bought tickets to the circus, and she was the the main attraction .The Clown , she would roll around and her clothes barely hanging on. Her lipstick smeared and the singing , what singing ? It was more like talking rapidly and a scream here and there. The accident was unfolding before our eyes and it was surreal. Apparently we weren't the only ones enjoying the fiasco , while watching the the show my boyfriend (now husband) bumped into Drew Barrymore and Pat Smear . Now i knew their is more to this circus act , an act indeed. I'm pretty sure was hurt because of Kurt's death but the show was too much to bare. The show ended with a lame cover of "Hungry like a Wolf " and with that we took to the side of the stage. Luckily we have snuck in before at a previous show and the huge Samoan body guards remembered us. You with think he would pick me up and throw me out but on the contrary he says" Hey i remember you , just go ahead" .. I was amazed and ran with it . It was upstairs with a bar and loads of people. The pretty people of Hollywood of course . I ran into all of the band members and had them sign my heart shaped Hole sticker . They were much obliged and knew we were some young kids that didn't belong in this place of members only . Once that was done we set our eyes on the prize. Courtney was sitting on the other side of the room and seemed okay with the world . She was having a conversation and seemed well engaged. She wasn't the crazy lady on stage that i witnessed a few minutes ago, she wasn't the distraught widow she claimed to be. I go up to her to get my last signature and i stopped suddenly. It took me a second to realize who she was speaking to. I rub my eyes and said "Danny Devito?" , seriously. She then signed my sticker and never did stop to acknowledge. She kept on with her moment with Danny. I thanked her and left . We left with a odd deposition , "did that just happened" ..Truth i envied her before that moment, I believed in a real rock and roll chick, now i knew it was a facade and the queen of grunge was now to me the jester of Hollywood .

groupie story #99 (meeting Julian again or the disaster)

If you read my last entry, then you know I met my Jules. Well obsession is hell of a drug. My friend and I decided to attend his last show here in L.A. . It was a November night and real chilly to the point that you able to see the air from our mouths . We parked in the same parking lot we met him the last time. We showed up early , well for one to see if we can get tickets since we didn't buy in advance and for #2 just in case we see him again. We were right ,he just finished sound check and he was playing soccer in the alley with a band mate. He was in white tank and seemed like any other Joe in the street. My accomplice drank before we left to the show and her crazy ass decided that she needed to pee . Pee bad , you know the kind of pee like when a bar closes at 2am and you are stuck wandering looking for your car. She wasn't in the right state of mind , because if she was ,we would have looked for a restroom instead. Of course she went behind the cars. I saw him and i was way to nervous to speak up! Since my friend had some liquid courage , i made her my ambassador . Oh what a mistake .... word vomit came from her mouth. " i stop here to pee in the parking lot but shit I didn't think i would run into you" i was in shock , how can i save this monstrosity of meeting Jules. It got worse ..."why are you using a pussy ball like that" Well that was the truth his ball was for dwarfs , a soccer ball even to small for my daughter to use. His band mate looked hurt , like if we just popped his shiny red balloon. The band mate did not like my pee friend , he started to say how rude and uncool she was being. I tried my hardest to say something but all i can spew was " hey can we get pit tickets " and " do you remember us"Jesus fucking Christ . At least Jules was trying to make some jokes about peeing in a parking lot , i knew then he was still just as charming. Although he did not remember us at all , and that's when my red balloon just burst....Till this day i wish it went a little different but hey what will be, will be

groupie Story #98 (meeting Julian) cont. cont.

The second show in November 2009 , i decided to be a cool mom and take my 12 yr old daughter to see Jules . She too was infatuated with him and his rock star persona . After the show my friend decided to wait because like a lioness she wanted to feed her 9 yr old son his wish . His wish to meet Julian . By chance we parked behind the venue , behind the actual door in which the band and roadies came out of. We were there for like an hour or two after the show . It felt like a case of cabin fever but we weren't alone or secluded from the world. We were just standing in a cold parking lot. We were getting delusional, every time a man passes by we assumed it was him on the street walking , crossing , driving or smoking but none were him. We crossed the street like a bunch of nuts , just because we see a guy with an hat. (when has Julian ever worn a hat). As we walk back to parking lot i was ready to give in , to quit this escapade of being a groupie. I checked one last time at door and he was there. Omg he was there ! I couldn't control myself , I yelled back to my daughter,my friend and her son. "he's there" , I turned and said the first thing i could think of to convince him to come here to me . " Julian , please come i have a 12 yr old." It worked ! He was awesome, I was pleasantly surprised of his gratitude and his charmed .I instantly had to touch him but not in a creepy way. I guess to prove he was just another human being. I asked to shake his hand and to my surprise it was the softest i ever felt. It kind of stun for a bit.(why would he have nice hands and how?) Nevertheless , we were trying to have a conversation with him but from what I remember we talked about baby names(Jules was about to be a first time father ) . Phrases were coming out like "i named my daughter after medication" and " Lightening if it's a girl". I readily grabbed a camera , i needed the proof. Prove to whom?, it didn't matter. Maybe proof to myself , that we did it! an eight year journey was at it's end. Despite the ridiculous vocabulary that was spewing out of all of us, it was just great . The greatest 10 mins. of that year 2009. I felt accomplished , that i was closing a chapter to my favorite book. We went home that night still in awe! That night i slept with a smile on my face,but that morning i woke up and felt empty...now what?

Groupie Story #98 (meeting Julian) cont.

Jules ..it all started eight years when a fellow co worker try to convince me to listen to The Strokes. I, being an indie girl was refusing his request. He eventually broke me down and I listened to "this is it" The Strokes first album. When the first song started and Julian's deep and raspy voice came on , the battle was done , the war was over. I fell for a mainstream band. I continued to be a fan and through the years it got worse and worse . My need to be near him or hear him live was growing , it was fine at first to sit in regular seats at the Greek 11/02/02 , then i shelled out $150 for floor seats at the Gibson 6/12/04 ......... and then this last year he dediced to go solo and played four dates at the Palace and yes i attended three of those dates. It wasn't enough just see or hear him live anymore ,,, It was time to meet him... to be cont.

Groupie Story #98

I have loved bands for a very long time, ever since my father forced me to listen to The Beatles at the ripe age of five years old. Which i thank him for it now. I am not typical groupie that is often shown on t.v or movies ... I don't try to sleep with lead singers or try to make cast of their members. I am not Penny Lane from "almost famous". I am like you .. music is just part of my hum drum life. It makes it all better and allows me to live vicariously through the musicians.. They are my could of , would of ,should of life I will never have. And with that I begin to tell you my tales of being a "real" groupie .

Most recently i have obsessed over Julian Casablancas, the front man of "The Strokes". I love, OK I lust him for many of good years , OK like eight years. I easily get obsessed , i facebook, myspace, oh even twitter ... twitter when about year ago i swore off the computer world. So Julian had that power , the power to change my beliefs. to be cont....